No one is ever prepared for a tragedy. In fact, most of us go through our lives believing that tragedies happen to other people.When people do experience a distressing or life-threatening event, such as a car accident, natural disaster, or terrorist attack, they often develop extreme anxiety or PTSD. Many develop ongoing problems with their personal relationships and their own self-esteem.Everyone deals with trauma in their own way. There is no “right” or “wrong” way to respond to a tragic or ...read more
3 Ingredients to a Happy Marriage
Have you ever wondered why some marriages last decades while others barely go two years? Why do some couples thrive and grow together while others crash and burn?The secret? There are three secrets, actually; three ingredients to a happy and successful marriage. Without all three of these, many couples will struggle to remain connected and committed.CommunicationCommunication is to a marriage what gasoline is to an automobile: without it, you’re not going anywhere. And the better the ...read more
The Importance of Creating & Sharing Goals as a Couple
Many authors, from Viktor Frankl to Deepak Chopra, have discussed the importance of living a purposeful life. It is purpose that allows us to transcend ourselves and create meaningful moments. Frankl believed that a pursuit in meaning in life is far more important than the pursuit of happiness, as meaning connects us to our past, present and future.It can also be said that purpose in a relationship is more important than happiness. Relationships that last are the ones where two people create ...read more
Feeling Disconnected? Here are 3 Ways to Reconnect
Thanks to Hollywood, many couples have been led to believe the secret to reconnecting and rekindling the passion is through a Caribbean cruise, sports cars, or jewelry. But the reality is, once there’s a disconnect between partners, gifts and vacations simply won’t cut it.It may seem counterintuitive, but love is mended not through grandiose deeds, but through small acts of kindness; through the seemingly micro-moments. It is in these moments when we have a choice to listen to our partner and ...read more
3 Ways Individual Counseling Can Help Your Marriage
Even happily married couples can hit obstacles along the way. When this happens, couples can either go it alone and try to work through their issues themselves, or they can seek the guidance of a trained and experienced marriage counselor. While some couples feel their problems should be kept private, many more are finding the value of seeking help from an impartial and nonjudgmental third party.Here are 3 ways individual counseling can help your marriage.Identifying Behavioral PatternsMost of ...read more
Is it Possible to Rebuild Trust After an Affair?
For many couples, the discovery of a spousal affair is the ultimate betrayal. And yet, the betrayal by one does not necessarily decrease the love of either party for the other. When you still love someone but the trust has been significantly damaged, is it possible to mend the relationship? Can marriages be rebuilt after an affair?Dr. Janis Spring is a clinical psychologist and author of After the Affair: Healing the Pain and Rebuilding Trust When a Partner Has Been Unfaithful and How Can I ...read more
Are You Playing the Blame Game? Here’s Why You Need to Stop
Blame and game – two words that should never be joined together. The truth is, the blame game is no fun to play and there are never any winners. And, perhaps, the biggest loser of all is the one who is doing all the blaming. When we blame others, we lose our power. Remaining stuck in our feelings of anger, resentment or abandonment only hurts us, not the other person. They eventually move on while we continue our lives feeling mad at the entire world!If you’ve been playing the blame game, here ...read more
Let’s talk about low sexual desire or low libido.
We need to start the conversation on low sexual desire or libido. Libido can be discussed as energy or urges that promotes the desire that leads us to more sexual contact. Low libido/ sexual desire happens to many individuals throughout their adult life time. Low desire doesn’t mean that you fell out of love or you are broken, it may mean you need to relax and take a closer look at sex and intimacy and the role they both play in your relationship. The first step is to make a conscious ...read more
Holidays after the affair.
Holidays after an Affair or break up This is a common subject that comes up in my practice this time of the year. It is hard to get into the Holiday mood when your world has just crumbled in front of you. You wonder how they could do this to you and what about all the traditions and holiday memories you created. The truth is there isn’t any magic time line or pill that you can take to make the time it takes to heal or speed up the process. Like with all grief it takes time, love ...read more
Sexual Function what is it anyway?
Sexual Function I see women and men who come in to my practice every day because their doctor told them it’s all in their head or their partner gave them an ultimatum. Their stories of onset vary from childhood, sexual abuse or situational. They all have different stories but one question Am I normal?? For so long people who suffer with sexual disorders or functions suffer in silence due to judgement and embarrassment. When they finally get up the courage to see a physician, some go ...read more